Favourite Lee Lets His Barriers Down Moment: Service Above and Beyond

When Amanda falls foul of Hollander and is injected with muscarine Lee sits in the ambulance with her, anxiously waiting for the medic to do his job and let him know how she is.

He doesn’t say a word but merely stares down at her lifeless form, hoping and praying that he wasn’t too late in getting her help.  Perhaps if he had reached her quicker he might have been able to stop her being injected in the first place?  As it was he was just a few moments too late, the starkness of her scream the brutal echo of that.

“She’s stabilised, Mr Stetson.  She’ll be all right,” the medic finally informs him, cutting through his troubled reverie, having done what he needs to.

Lee briefly turns to glance at the medic and merely nods, the words that form on his lips in response not finding their voice as his attention immediately shifts back to the woman lying so completely silent before him.  His eyes bore down upon her, stark with the worry and fear which have stalked him since he found her.  The fact that she became the innocent victim of Hollander’s menace is certainly a haunting reminder of the risks she takes whilst working with him on a case, of the dangers she faces.

Quietly the medic moves away leaving Lee sitting beside her, the anxiety etched on his face having no less abated even though he has been reassured that she’s going to be fine.

With the relief that suffuses his body comes an overwhelming desire to be closer to her and he moves nearer, kneeling down by her side as he leans towards her, instinctively reaching out to touch her and gently brush invisible hairs from her face with loving reverence.  If something had happened to her…

He can’t think like that though.  He got to her in time and she’s going to be okay.  “I guess this one got a little rough,” he murmurs softly, his entire focus on her sleeping form, not even caring that the medic in the back with him might overhear.  “I’m sorry.  You did a hell of a job.”

And she did.  He can’t deny that fact. For a supposedly ordinary housewife she showed that she could do the job asked of her and for the first time since he discovered her inert body on the bed in Delano’s house a tender smile reaches into his eyes.

“Thank you.”  Still a little groggy from her ordeal, Amanda’s eyes open and look directly at him.

He can’t believe it!  He’s horrified that she might have heard what he’s just said to her; after all, he didn’t say it expecting her to hear it!  He certainly doesn’t need her knowing how he feels about her potential as an agent – or the fact that deep down inside of him there is a slow blooming feeling that she means something more to him than he wishes to actually consciously acknowledge.

The fact that Amanda has absolutely no idea of what he’s just said to her is, however, confirmed by her assumption that he is just a porter because she asks him to wake her when they reach their destination, a grateful smile dancing across her entire face as she speaks.  She has absolutely no idea what has happened to her it seems – at least not at this moment in time.

Infinitely relieved that she clearly hasn’t heard what he’s said, Lee relaxes a little and shakes his head in amusement.  Only Amanda…

 

Favourite Not So Secret Look: The Triumvirate

When Amanda’s life is deemed to be in danger from a hit-man, she is sent with Lee to a safe house to sit it out until the threat has passed.  Together they settle down in a companionable silence, both having found a magazine to read.

The magazine contents, however, appear to be the last thing on Lee’s mind and it doesn’t take long for him to cease his aimless flicking through its pages and become more pleasantly distracted by the sight of Amanda sitting in the chair opposite.  Doing her best to remain calm despite the situation they’re in, she’s absently looking through the pages before her.

In those moments he finds his gaze resting solely upon her, seemingly unable to look away, a contemplative smile stealing across his lips.  Before him sits a woman who is not only beautiful but has stubbornly stood by him through thick and thin – not to mention shown more times than he can count how much she truly cares about him.

  

I think in these quiet moments of reflection he knows precisely how much Amanda means to him, fully aware that his feelings have blossomed from friendship into love. Not that he’s told her that yet, despite the fact that they have been spending more time together beyond their normal working hours.  The possibility of pursuing a relationship with her hovers tantalisingly before him, almost close enough to touch…

His daydreams are suddenly brought to a complete halt as Amanda, perhaps sensing his gaze upon her, glances up and catches him staring.  His eyes widen immediately in perceptible alarm – it’s the last thing he wants.

Amanda doesn’t say anything nor does she seek to question aloud his attentions upon her, although equally she doesn’t look directly away either.  It is Lee who immediately turns his gaze from hers, trying to cover his awkwardness at being caught watching her so intently.

He is so busy hiding from her that he doesn’t see the little smile that passes across Amanda’s lips as she sees his reaction.  He obviously didn’t mean for her to see him staring and clearly feels embarrassed that she has, but she has to wonder what he was thinking.  He certainly appeared reflective, wistful….

Amanda goes back to her magazine, continuing on as before.  For Lee, however, it seems completely impossible for him to look in any direction other than her and slowly, as if  powerless to do anything else, he turns his gaze towards her once more before glancing down at his watch and reluctantly acknowledging the fact that maybe she ought to go and get some rest.

“Amanda, it’s getting late.  Why don’t you take a rest?  I’ll go in the other room.”

At his words Amanda glances up, a little startled by his words.  It’s the last thing she wants to do.  “Well I’m really not tired and I’m probably too nervous to sleep,” she tells him, hoping that he will pick up on the fact that she would rather not be on her own at the present moment.  Lee, however, is quick to reassure her on that count – in fact, he couldn’t be happier!

His eyes instantly light up, even as he smiles brightly in her direction in response to her confirmation that she wants him there with her.

Amanda’s equally radiant smile indicates that she too is just as happy about the fact that he will sit a little longer with her and seems to be in no hurry to be out of her presence. How far they’ve come since those far off times when he couldn’t wait to be rid of her! “That would be nice,” she says, gratefully.

“Yeah,” Lee agrees.  Perhaps they can ditch the magazines now (which neither of them was really reading in the first place) and talk?

The only problem is that Fate appears to have other ideas and, as if on cue, rudely intervenes.  The knock on the door couldn’t be more ill-timed and neither of them can hide their disappointment.  After all, the minute Lee opens the door the moment will be lost.  Sure enough Francine has come to stand in for Lee because Billy has asked for him to get back to the Agency as quickly as possible – although she has absolutely no idea what is so urgent.

Lee, for his part, can’t help but question this abrupt and unexpected change of plan but Francine is adamant: Billy wants them to trade shifts.  He therefore has no choice but to agree, albeit with no small degree of disappointment.  It was bad enough Francine turning up; now it looks like he’s going to have to leave completely!

 

“Well I guess I’d better go,” he says resignedly, looking over at Amanda who sits silently, knowing that she has no choice but to accept that she’ll be spending the rest of the evening in Francine’s company.  He too knows where he’d rather be – and it’s not at the Agency.  “See you later.”

“Goodnight,” Amanda calls out to him, speaking for the first time since Francine has come into the room as she watches him leave, seeing his eyes darting towards hers from the doorway for a final time before Francine closes the door on him.

 

Favourite Amanda Looking After Lee Moment – The Eyes Have It

At last – a new instalment in my Favourites series :).

With the case to find the missing lenses still very much at the forefront of his mind, the last thing on Lee’s mind is having to rest.  This, however, is precisely what Amanda wants him to do and after seeing his agitation while on the phone to someone – no doubt brought on by the fact that he isn’t functioning at his best – Amanda decides enough is enough.

“You know you really have to get some rest,” she tells him.

“Not now, Amanda.”  He really isn’t prepared to stop, determined to just carry on with what he’s doing.  After all, he’s got to get hold of those missing lenses as soon as he can and he doesn’t have time to take a nap.

  

Amanda isn’t about to take no for an answer and her rather emphatic “Yes, now!” shows just how determined she is.

Although Lee does put up some initial resistance to the idea it doesn’t really take long for her to steer him gently in the direction of his bedroom, all the while telling him that that’s where he belongs.  He’s almost dead on his feet so he really is in no position to argue the point, although he does continue to make mutterings all the way into the bedroom.

Amanda doesn’t just see him into his room and just shut the door behind him either. She’s on her own little mission and she’s not going to give him the chance to derail her.

  

She’s determined to make absolutely certain he does get some rest and that he gets on the bed to lie down – not to mention takes the pills that have been brought from the hospital.

Lee, having allowed Amanda to give him his medicine (which he only pretends to take) asks her if she’s satisfied that he’s done everything she’s asked and when she tells him that she is as she reaches out to stroke his forehead, hoping that it will help him relax and go to sleep.  It’s a gesture which Lee himself appears to have no objection to whatsoever – in fact, he willingly receives her attentions without any complaint at all.

This sweet and peaceful moment between them is killed the instant Francine walks in,  however, causing Amanda to pull her hand away from Lee. “My my, isn’t this cosy,” she remarks, a knowing smile on her face as she surveys the pair.

“Oh please, Francine, not now!” Lee rebukes, not in the mood for any of her little quips.

There follows a fluffy of activity as they discuss the case and what steps to take next – that is until Amanda worryingly discovers that Lee hasn’t actually been prescribed any medicine!

The fact that he didn’t take the pills is greeted with much relief and a promise from Francine to go and get them analysed and let them know if she finds anything further out.

  

With Francine having left, Amanda is back to her original agenda.  “Going to get some sleep now? she asks him, hopeful that he will do so.

“Amanda, I’ve got a….Look, I appreciate everything you are doing but I do not need to be mothered okay?”  He doesn’t want to seem ungrateful, but he really needs to do something about the case and lying in bed isn’t going to get any of it done.

Amanda looks down at him and duly accepts what he says.  If he’s that determined then she can’t stop him.  “Okay,” she says in resignation.  “I understand.  I’ll just go over these files and leave you alone.”

When she actually makes a move to get up and leave he reaches out to restrain her.

“No!” He doesn’t want her to go. He likes her being there and having her look after him, however much he might protest. Not that he’s going to do that anymore – not if it means that she’s going to leave him by himself.  “Stay for a minute, huh?” he asks hopefully.

She doesn’t take much coaxing; in fact, she can’t help but smile in response. “Yeah I’ll sit with you for a minute,” she replies, putting his mind at rest.

As Lee begins to relax a little, his fingers absently rubbing against her hand that sits in his, Amanda’s eyes turn to the photograph of Lee’s parents by his bedside.  “Your parents huh?”

“Mom and dad.  Did I ever tell you that my mother was British?” When she tells him he did he continues on.  “Dad was in army intelligence.  They met when the NATO pact was signed in ’49.” Memories cloud his face in remembrance of the child he was when they died before he finally, as if making peace with the memory, closes his eyes to sleep.

“Try to get some sleep,” Amanda tells him as she watches him finally succumb to sleep under her touch.  She sits there for a minute more before she stands to leave.  “I’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

As she reaches the door of his bedroom she turns to look at him, reaffirming the fact that she isn’t far away if he needs her, before quietly leaving the room.

 

Favourite Moment of Awareness – A Lovely Little Affair

When Lee decides he has to visit Amanda in the middle of the night, he’s obviously made the decision that it just can’t wait until morning.  In fact, what he sees is that Amanda may well be in danger if she continues her association with Alan Chamberlain. However, even after he’s climbed her trellis and they’re sitting on her bed, it doesn’t take long for Amanda to protest about being sidelined – neither of them even seeming to notice at that point the intimacy of the situation they find themselves in.

“I’m doing a good job!” Amanda tells him, although she neglects to say that Alan actually kissed her when Lee asks her if anything unusual happened during her evening.  No, it’s best to keep that particular part of her evening to herself.

  

Of course, Lee can’t really deny that her input has been helpful, but there’s the little matter of terrorist involvement and he doesn’t want her getting hurt.

Even when she tells him that she’s due to meet Alan for breakfast the next morning and that Lee and Francine could be there, Lee is still hesitant.  It’s too dangerous for her.

It’s amazing that Amanda is able to quote the Agency manual to Lee chapter and verse to get her point across.  He can’t fail to be impressed by not only that but by her sheer tenacity to continue and does reluctantly agree when he realises that he has no other real choice.

  

“If we had more to go on with this…”  But they haven’t.

Her reassurance that she’ll get in the car and drive away if need be seems to reassure him a little and reluctantly he agrees to her plan to meet Alan in the morning.

“Deal!” I don’t think he even thinks twice about reaching out to shake her hand to seal their agreement, but that’s when everything changes and their close proximity to the other there on the bed suddenly hits them full force.  It’s late, the rest of the house is sleeping, Amanda’s there in her nightgown, they’re alone….

In that moment the mood between them shifts and becomes suddenly more charged. Their hands lock in what starts out as an innocent handshake and then, very quickly, alters into something far more as they stare at the other, their joined hands and the sheer intimacy of their surroundings crashing through them both at the same time. There’s no denying the attraction that’s bubbling between them. Lee tears his eyes from Amanda’s, staring down at their linked hands as Amanda impulsively reaches up to quickly cover herself with her free hand, no doubt feeling in those moments very exposed to him.

She watches as Lee slowly, almost reluctantly, removes his hand from hers, although not without trailing his fingers lightly and deliberately over her palm very very slowly as if to extend the moment and no doubt sending little currents of sensation through her at the same time!

“Well, I guess that’s it then til…til breakfast,” he tells her falteringly, finding his voice, although there’s no doubt they’ve both been left a little off-balance by what’s just transpired between them.  He turns and looks towards the bedroom window – anywhere but at Amanda it seems – although when he does look back at her he’s managed to recover himself a little.

  

He’s got to get his mind back on the case, not on how appealing Amanda looks sitting there in front of him!

“Be careful going down the trellis,” Amanda tells him, which brings his mind right back to the present and the fact that he has to leave her.  To linger any longer might not be the wisest of moves and it’s not as if they have anything else to discuss about the case now.

“I’d better go.” The instant Lee makes to get up off the bed, Amanda pushes him back down, making sure that the light is off and issuing instructions to him to tiptoe to the window before she allows him to get up.

As they creep over to the window and Amanda steps back to let him out onto the trellis, Lee once more tells her to be careful before wishing her goodnight.  As Amanda watches after him she can’t help but wonder….

Favourite Moment of Awkwardness: Affair at Bromfield Hall

Amanda has it all mapped out in her head – Lady Bromfield is behind the murder and when Lee asks her why she thinks it’s Lady B she tells him it’s a feeling: she doesn’t think that Lady B loves her husband.

  

When Lee tries to derail her line of thinking and deny it, she tells him exactly what she thinks: “Lee, it’s just something about the way she looks at him. There’s nothing in her face when she looks at him. She just doesn’t look like she loves him. There’s nothing in her eyes and they never touch each other. Have you seen them hold hands or seen him put his arm around her?”

Then, as if to really put her point across in a more physical way, she reaches out to touch Lee.

“You know, people who care about each other, they want to be close to each other and they…ahh…”

By this point Amanda realises that she’s stroking Lee’s hands and Lee is very much aware of the fact.

Her embarrassment is tangible and she looks decidedly awkward as she removes her hands from his and looks out onto the river to avoid his eye.

The wonderful thing about this is that her analysis of Lord and Lady Bromfield’s relationship is the polar opposite of hers and Lee’s.

She and Lee very much, by her own reasoning, represent two people who care about each other. They hold hands, he puts his arm around her, they want to be near each other (even though half the time they are in denial of it). And I think it dawns on them both at exactly the same moment.  Although neither is willing to admit it out loud, Amanda certainly realises it because she sees what she’s doing and falters before adding, “She doesn’t touch him.”

  

Neither of them knows quite what to say next, although it is Lee who manages to find his voice and tell her that she really does have some interesting theories.

Amanda laughs and, in an attempt to move on from the moment of awkwardness between them, mentions the fact that they ought to get going – to which Lee willingly agrees.

Yet what is the first thing that Lee does as they walk away? He puts his arm around her! It’s something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Amanda – which in turn makes him hastily drop his arm from around her.

It seems that Amanda’s analysis is true: people who care about each other do naturally want to be close to each other – whether they are willing to admit it or not.

New Gif

For today’s gif I went for one of those sweet little moments from Dead Men Leave No Trails, namely the brief little kiss Lee and Amanda share.  Such a great moment when, even though they were interrupted just a few minutes earlier by Dotty’s arrival home early with the boys, they do manage to sneak this little kiss before Lee, teasing Amanda with the prospect of another, leaves her standing there with the biggest smile on her face.

 

Favourite Cover Kiss: Ship of Spies

I have always loved this episode so it is no surprise that this kiss ranks as my best cover kiss.

It’s a ceremony which neither Lee or Amanda thought they would have to go through and Lee’s face in particular, as he stands in front of the priest, shows his discomfort at what is about to unfold. Amanda, herself looking a little nervous, more than once glances out of the corner of her eye at Lee, perhaps wondering if he will suddenly decide not go through with the wedding after all.

And yet, Lee does intend to go through with the marriage and after finally getting his act together and finding the ring, he turns to face Amanda to recite his vows and put the said ring on her finger, his eyes holding hers as he does so.

However, he does look slightly thrown by the priest announcing that he can kiss the bride. Reciting his vows is one thing, but having to actually kiss Amanda takes it to a far more personal and intimate level.  There again, they need to keep their cover authentic.

And so, looking at Amanda as she (along with the priest) waits in silent anticipation of what is to come, Lee moves to carefully lift the veil from her face.

They are both hesitant in that brief moment before, both fully aware of the other.  As Amanda gives him an encouraging smile he gives her an answering one of his own before he moves closer, both of them anticipating the moment that their lips will meet.

If it was meant to be a quick peck on the lips, over and done with in a matter of seconds, it certainly doesn’t turn out that way as they lose themselves in the other, surrendering to the moment between them.  One kiss becomes two, neither willing to let what they are each feeling slip away too soon.

They both look almost shocked – as though they have both been run through with a bolt of lightning – as they pull apart to look at each other. Like the kiss in Sudden Death, it is a moment of revelation, a tantalizing taste of what they could be together.  Neither really expects to feel anything and yet their expressions very clearly testify that they do.

For that all too brief moment as they study the other with a kind of awe, it is as though they are the only two people there – everyone else has just melted away.  It’s just Lee and Amanda.

And then, just as quickly, reality chases the silence away and they are back to normal again.

The world fizzes into life around them and they resume their covers of newlyweds as they walk back down the aisle to get a drink (which it seems Lee in particular is in need of!).

And, because I really couldn’t resist doing it, here’s a little gif of their kiss 🙂

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Sarah x

A New Gif

For this gif I went for one of my favourite moments (I have a few of them lol) from The Triumvirate episode when Lee and Amanda are at the safehouse.  I love the expression on Lee’s face as he quietly watches Amanda and his quick look away when she catches him staring at her. Not that he can resist taking another peek at her…

 

Favourite Conversation: We’re Off to See the Wizard

I have always loved the scene between Lee and Amanda in the outdoor cafe after Lee thinks he has seen Dorothy on the bus.  He’s already being swept along on an emotional rollercoaster ride – he’s been seeing Dorothy, he’s been arguing with Paul Barnes over the women who have recently been murdered and he’s had his past of playing free and loose with loads of women exposed by the number of black books he possesses.  On top of that, he’s had to deal with Amanda being in the killer’s sights when she went to visit one of the women from his said black books.  It’s not surprising then that he feels the need to talk to someone.

It is really quite sweet that they both know exactly to the month and day just how long they have known each other, although the conversation soon takes a more sombre tone as Lee slowly begins to open up about Dorothy.

Amanda, for her part, doesn’t push him, but instead allows him the space and freedom to talk.

She cannot, however, help but vehemently tell him that what happened to Dorothy is not his fault and that he really shouldn’t be the one to take the blame for it – especially as he was only twenty-four years old at the time.

“I never told you I was twenty-four then,” Lee responds, realising that she has already done her own research and read the file on the case.

In fact he’s initially a bit miffed about it until Amanda tells him that she’s been worried about him.  “You act like you’re some kind of Superman, but you’re not a superman. You’re just a man. But a pretty special man.”

Her words hit Lee straight in the heart.  He is visibly touched.  The apology that Amanda tries to give him is quickly pushed aside.  “It’s important to me that you care,” he tells her. It’s certainly growing more and more important to him every day that passes.

This remark alone shows how far he’s come since they met.  There was a time when he would never have admitted such  a thing or told her the history behind his getting the “Scarecrow” codename.  It is such a painful and personal memory and yet he allows himself to share it with Amanda, recounting the details of the day Dorothy was killed.

It certainly stands in sharp contrast to a similar conversation they had about his codename in Magic Bus. The Lee of Season 1 was closed off, fighting off any inclination to be close to anyone. The Lee of Season 3 is now beginning to wholly embrace the idea that it’s ok to let someone through his armour and have someone care for him the way Amanda so obviously does.

 

 

Favourite Heart-Wrenching Moment: Burn Out

Although it is painful to watch and its impact never really seems to lessen every time I watch it, I feel that the scene where Lee slaps Amanda is probably one of the most powerful moments in the entire four seasons.  It takes SMK out of its comfort zone – albeit briefly – and confronts us with the realisation that Lee could – and in this case does – slap Amanda.  If you look, you can see him glance at Jack Harris as though he’s making sure he’s taking the whole scene in, only, in the next moment, to get too carried away with his cover and slap her. Amanda’s horror and absolute hurt are palpable, just as Lee’s own shock is. They are both left completely devastated by his actions. From the remorse on his face, I don’t think it was Lee’s actual intention to actually slap her as he did – and certainly not so forcefully. He started out by patting her face (although quite firmly when you look at it) as if he were trying to emphasise his frustration of having time on his hands for Jack’s benefit.

Realising the magnitude of  what he has done, Lee immediately apologises, reaching out to Amanda automatically, desperate to connect with her again, his hands resting on her arms, but Amanda is far too hurt and upset to be receptive to such a gesture.  She clearly doesn’t want to be near him.  Her “You can move your hand” shows just how little she wants any physical contact with him.

When she walks away Lee runs after her – his thoughts no doubt centred on the fact that he could ruin everything with her because of his behaviour.  He stands to lose so much and I think that alone propels him to the door Amanda is heading towards, needing to stop her before she’s gone.  His “No! No!” is pretty desperate and anguished.

“It’s all right.  It didn’t hurt,” Amanda tells him rather too calmly, trying to brush it all aside and probably just wishing to get out of there and not go into it all.

“I hit you.”  Lee’s self-loathing is very marked.  It’s as though he still can’t believe he could actually do such a thing to her, yet he is also still having to play his cover which makes everything all the more difficult.  He certainly can’t apologise the way he probably wishes to – at least not while they are being watched by Jack Harris – lest he gives himself away completely.  So he presses on, even though his words are hardly any comfort, trying to make it plain to Amanda that she should stay well clear of him. “You’ve just got to stay away from me.  You’ve seen what I’ve been like lately, what I’m going through.  I’m poison at the Agency.”

“I was only trying to help you.”

“Then let me make it easier for you.  Just don’t help!”  The words are harsh and uncompromising and he must know that they will add to the sense of devastation she’s already feeling. He certainly doesn’t hang around long enough to find out because he turns away to stumble back to the bar and Jack Harris.

Perhaps knowing exactly what emotions will be etched on her face, Lee doesn’t even look back as he goes.  He can’t afford to if he is to continue with his cover.  He leaves Amanda alone and utterly bereft; her eyes reflecting the pain she feels. When she raises her head to follow his progress to the bar, you can see the sadness and disbelief that haunt her.  Yet she doesn’t try to go after him or speak to him again – he’s, after all, made it perfectly clear that she should keep her distance.  Instead, she makes a bid to compose herself a little before heading out of the door.

At this point, they seem to be more distant than they ever have been.  Even though we know that Lee is acting out a cover, at this point in time we have no real idea that Amanda has (or will very shortly) begun to figure it out for herself.  After all, he may have a temper sometimes and has, on occasion, hurt her with his words, but he has never done something like that to her before.