Favourite Moment of Awareness – A Lovely Little Affair

When Lee decides he has to visit Amanda in the middle of the night, he’s obviously made the decision that it just can’t wait until morning.  In fact, what he sees is that Amanda may well be in danger if she continues her association with Alan Chamberlain. However, even after he’s climbed her trellis and they’re sitting on her bed, it doesn’t take long for Amanda to protest about being sidelined – neither of them even seeming to notice at that point the intimacy of the situation they find themselves in.

“I’m doing a good job!” Amanda tells him, although she neglects to say that Alan actually kissed her when Lee asks her if anything unusual happened during her evening.  No, it’s best to keep that particular part of her evening to herself.

Lee  Amanda1

Of course, Lee can’t really deny that her input has been helpful, but there’s the little matter of terrorist involvement and he doesn’t want her getting hurt.

The Threat of Danger

Even when she tells him that she’s due to meet Alan for breakfast the next morning and that Lee and Francine could be there, Lee is still hesitant.  It’s too dangerous for her.

Quoting manual

It’s amazing that Amanda is able to quote the Agency manual to Lee chapter and verse to get her point across.  He can’t fail to be impressed by not only that but by her sheer tenacity to continue and does reluctantly agree when he realises that he has no other real choice.

Lee2  Amanda2

“If we had more to go on with this…”  But they haven’t.

Her reassurance that she’ll get in the car and drive away if need be seems to reassure him a little and reluctantly he agrees to her plan to meet Alan in the morning.

“Deal!” I don’t think he even thinks twice about reaching out to shake her hand to seal their agreement, but that’s when everything changes and their close proximity to the other there on the bed suddenly hits them full force.  It’s late, the rest of the house is sleeping, Amanda’s there in her nightgown, they’re alone….

To Seal the Deal

In that moment the mood between them shifts and becomes suddenly more charged. Their hands lock in what starts out as an innocent handshake and then, very quickly, alters into something far more as they stare at the other, their joined hands and the sheer intimacy of their surroundings crashing through them both at the same time. There’s no denying the attraction that’s bubbling between them. Lee tears his eyes from Amanda’s, staring down at their linked hands as Amanda impulsively reaches up to quickly cover herself with her free hand, no doubt feeling in those moments very exposed to him.

Just One Touch

She watches as Lee slowly, almost reluctantly, removes his hand from hers, although not without trailing his fingers lightly and deliberately over her palm very very slowly as if to extend the moment and no doubt sending little currents of sensation through her at the same time!

Touch (find a quote for)

“Well, I guess that’s it then til…til breakfast,” he tells her falteringly, finding his voice, although there’s no doubt they’ve both been left a little off-balance by what’s just transpired between them.  He turns and looks towards the bedroom window – anywhere but at Amanda it seems – although when he does look back at her he’s managed to recover himself a little.

Cover  Trellis

He’s got to get his mind back on the case, not on how appealing Amanda looks sitting there in front of him!

BeCarefulGoingDowntheTrellis

“Be careful going down the trellis,” Amanda tells him, which brings his mind right back to the present and the fact that he has to leave her.  To linger any longer might not be the wisest of moves and it’s not as if they have anything else to discuss about the case now.

Call of the Trellis

“I’d better go.” The instant Lee makes to get up off the bed, Amanda pushes him back down, making sure that the light is off and issuing instructions to him to tiptoe to the window before she allows him to get up.

As they creep over to the window and Amanda steps back to let him out onto the trellis, Lee once more tells her to be careful before wishing her goodnight.  As Amanda watches after him she can’t help but wonder….

An easier way

Favourite Moment of Awkwardness: Affair at Bromfield Hall

Amanda has it all mapped out in her head – Lady Bromfield is behind the murder and when Lee asks her why she thinks it’s Lady B she tells him it’s a feeling: she doesn’t think that Lady B loves her husband.

Look to you  Smile

When Lee tries to derail her line of thinking and deny it, she tells him exactly what she thinks: “Lee, it’s just something about the way she looks at him. There’s nothing in her face when she looks at him. She just doesn’t look like she loves him. There’s nothing in her eyes and they never touch each other. Have you seen them hold hands or seen him put his arm around her?”

Then, as if to really put her point across in a more physical way, she reaches out to touch Lee.

When the heart finds its voice-new

“You know, people who care about each other, they want to be close to each other and they…ahh…”

A Dawning Awareness

By this point Amanda realises that she’s stroking Lee’s hands and Lee is very much aware of the fact.

Realisation-new

Her embarrassment is tangible and she looks decidedly awkward as she removes her hands from his and looks out onto the river to avoid his eye.

The wonderful thing about this is that her analysis of Lord and Lady Bromfield’s relationship is the polar opposite of hers and Lee’s.

People who want to be close to each other

She and Lee very much, by her own reasoning, represent two people who care about each other. They hold hands, he puts his arm around her, they want to be near each other (even though half the time they are in denial of it). And I think it dawns on them both at exactly the same moment.  Although neither is willing to admit it out loud, Amanda certainly realises it because she sees what she’s doing and falters before adding, “She doesn’t touch him.”

Feel  TouchLee

Neither of them knows quite what to say next, although it is Lee who manages to find his voice and tell her that she really does have some interesting theories.

Fascinating Theories

Amanda laughs and, in an attempt to move on from the moment of awkwardness between them, mentions the fact that they ought to get going – to which Lee willingly agrees.

Words

Yet what is the first thing that Lee does as they walk away? He puts his arm around her! It’s something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Amanda – which in turn makes him hastily drop his arm from around her.

Letting Go

It seems that Amanda’s analysis is true: people who care about each other do naturally want to be close to each other – whether they are willing to admit it or not.

New Gif

For today’s gif I went for one of those sweet little moments from Dead Men Leave No Trails, namely the brief little kiss Lee and Amanda share.  Such a great moment when, even though they were interrupted just a few minutes earlier by Dotty’s arrival home early with the boys, they do manage to sneak this little kiss before Lee, teasing Amanda with the prospect of another, leaves her standing there with the biggest smile on her face.

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Favourite Cover Kiss: Ship of Spies

I have always loved this episode so it is no surprise that this kiss ranks as my best cover kiss.

It’s a ceremony which neither Lee or Amanda thought they would have to go through and Lee’s face in particular, as he stands in front of the priest, shows his discomfort at what is about to unfold. Amanda, herself looking a little nervous, more than once glances out of the corner of her eye at Lee, perhaps wondering if he will suddenly decide not go through with the wedding after all.

When You Are All I See

And yet, Lee does intend to go through with the marriage and after finally getting his act together and finding the ring, he turns to face Amanda to recite his vows and put the said ring on her finger, his eyes holding hers as he does so.

Unexpected Invitation

However, he does look slightly thrown by the priest announcing that he can kiss the bride. Reciting his vows is one thing, but having to actually kiss Amanda takes it to a far more personal and intimate level.  There again, they need to keep their cover authentic.

Silent Encouragement

And so, looking at Amanda as she (along with the priest) waits in silent anticipation of what is to come, Lee moves to carefully lift the veil from her face.

Leaves you breathless

They are both hesitant in that brief moment before, both fully aware of the other.  As Amanda gives him an encouraging smile he gives her an answering one of his own before he moves closer, both of them anticipating the moment that their lips will meet.

If it was meant to be a quick peck on the lips, over and done with in a matter of seconds, it certainly doesn’t turn out that way as they lose themselves in the other, surrendering to the moment between them.  One kiss becomes two, neither willing to let what they are each feeling slip away too soon.

Surrender to the Moment

One Kiss

They both look almost shocked – as though they have both been run through with a bolt of lightning – as they pull apart to look at each other. Like the kiss in Sudden Death, it is a moment of revelation, a tantalizing taste of what they could be together.  Neither really expects to feel anything and yet their expressions very clearly testify that they do.

When the Heart Speaks

For that all too brief moment as they study the other with a kind of awe, it is as though they are the only two people there – everyone else has just melted away.  It’s just Lee and Amanda.

As Fantasy Weaves its Silken Web

And then, just as quickly, reality chases the silence away and they are back to normal again.

Champagne

The world fizzes into life around them and they resume their covers of newlyweds as they walk back down the aisle to get a drink (which it seems Lee in particular is in need of!).

And, because I really couldn’t resist doing it, here’s a little gif of their kiss 🙂

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Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Sarah x

A New Gif

For this gif I went for one of my favourite moments (I have a few of them lol) from The Triumvirate episode when Lee and Amanda are at the safehouse.  I love the expression on Lee’s face as he quietly watches Amanda and his quick look away when she catches him staring at her. Not that he can resist taking another peek at her…

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Favourite Conversation: We’re Off to See the Wizard

I have always loved the scene between Lee and Amanda in the outdoor cafe after Lee thinks he has seen Dorothy on the bus.  He’s already being swept along on an emotional rollercoaster ride – he’s been seeing Dorothy, he’s been arguing with Paul Barnes over the women who have recently been murdered and he’s had his past of playing free and loose with loads of women exposed by the number of black books he possesses.  On top of that, he’s had to deal with Amanda being in the killer’s sights when she went to visit one of the women from his said black books.  It’s not surprising then that he feels the need to talk to someone.

When You Need a Friend.

It is really quite sweet that they both know exactly to the month and day just how long they have known each other, although the conversation soon takes a more sombre tone as Lee slowly begins to open up about Dorothy.

Before I Met You

Amanda, for her part, doesn’t push him, but instead allows him the space and freedom to talk.

The First Time Id Ever Seen Somebody

Another Lifetime

She cannot, however, help but vehemently tell him that what happened to Dorothy is not his fault and that he really shouldn’t be the one to take the blame for it – especially as he was only twenty-four years old at the time.

As the Penny Drops

“I never told you I was twenty-four then,” Lee responds, realising that she has already done her own research and read the file on the case.

In fact he’s initially a bit miffed about it until Amanda tells him that she’s been worried about him.  “You act like you’re some kind of Superman, but you’re not a superman. You’re just a man. But a pretty special man.”

Her words hit Lee straight in the heart.  He is visibly touched.  The apology that Amanda tries to give him is quickly pushed aside.  “It’s important to me that you care,” he tells her. It’s certainly growing more and more important to him every day that passes.

Its important

This remark alone shows how far he’s come since they met.  There was a time when he would never have admitted such  a thing or told her the history behind his getting the “Scarecrow” codename.  It is such a painful and personal memory and yet he allows himself to share it with Amanda, recounting the details of the day Dorothy was killed.

the day of the fall

Amongst the Roses

It certainly stands in sharp contrast to a similar conversation they had about his codename in Magic Bus. The Lee of Season 1 was closed off, fighting off any inclination to be close to anyone. The Lee of Season 3 is now beginning to wholly embrace the idea that it’s ok to let someone through his armour and have someone care for him the way Amanda so obviously does.

 

 

Favourite Heart-Wrenching Moment: Burn Out

Although it is painful to watch and its impact never really seems to lessen every time I watch it, I feel that the scene where Lee slaps Amanda is probably one of the most powerful moments in the entire four seasons.  It takes SMK out of its comfort zone – albeit briefly – and confronts us with the realisation that Lee could – and in this case does – slap Amanda.  If you look, you can see him glance at Jack Harris as though he’s making sure he’s taking the whole scene in, only, in the next moment, to get too carried away with his cover and slap her. Amanda’s horror and absolute hurt are palpable, just as Lee’s own shock is. They are both left completely devastated by his actions. From the remorse on his face, I don’t think it was Lee’s actual intention to actually slap her as he did – and certainly not so forcefully. He started out by patting her face (although quite firmly when you look at it) as if he were trying to emphasise his frustration of having time on his hands for Jack’s benefit.

Gone too far copy

Error of Judgement

Realising the magnitude of  what he has done, Lee immediately apologises, reaching out to Amanda automatically, desperate to connect with her again, his hands resting on her arms, but Amanda is far too hurt and upset to be receptive to such a gesture.  She clearly doesn’t want to be near him.  Her “You can move your hand” shows just how little she wants any physical contact with him.

When she walks away Lee runs after her – his thoughts no doubt centred on the fact that he could ruin everything with her because of his behaviour.  He stands to lose so much and I think that alone propels him to the door Amanda is heading towards, needing to stop her before she’s gone.  His “No! No!” is pretty desperate and anguished.

When All Seems Broken

“It’s all right.  It didn’t hurt,” Amanda tells him rather too calmly, trying to brush it all aside and probably just wishing to get out of there and not go into it all.

“I hit you.”  Lee’s self-loathing is very marked.  It’s as though he still can’t believe he could actually do such a thing to her, yet he is also still having to play his cover which makes everything all the more difficult.  He certainly can’t apologise the way he probably wishes to – at least not while they are being watched by Jack Harris – lest he gives himself away completely.  So he presses on, even though his words are hardly any comfort, trying to make it plain to Amanda that she should stay well clear of him. “You’ve just got to stay away from me.  You’ve seen what I’ve been like lately, what I’m going through.  I’m poison at the Agency.”

“I was only trying to help you.”

“Then let me make it easier for you.  Just don’t help!”  The words are harsh and uncompromising and he must know that they will add to the sense of devastation she’s already feeling. He certainly doesn’t hang around long enough to find out because he turns away to stumble back to the bar and Jack Harris.

YouveGottostayawayfromme

Perhaps knowing exactly what emotions will be etched on her face, Lee doesn’t even look back as he goes.  He can’t afford to if he is to continue with his cover.  He leaves Amanda alone and utterly bereft; her eyes reflecting the pain she feels. When she raises her head to follow his progress to the bar, you can see the sadness and disbelief that haunt her.  Yet she doesn’t try to go after him or speak to him again – he’s, after all, made it perfectly clear that she should keep her distance.  Instead, she makes a bid to compose herself a little before heading out of the door.

Turn Away

Silent Anguish

At this point, they seem to be more distant than they ever have been.  Even though we know that Lee is acting out a cover, at this point in time we have no real idea that Amanda has (or will very shortly) begun to figure it out for herself.  After all, he may have a temper sometimes and has, on occasion, hurt her with his words, but he has never done something like that to her before.

 

Favourite Lee Showing up in Amanda’s Backyard Scene

This is another of my absolute favourite episodes and tags. I’m pretty sure it’s also the first time Lee comes by Amanda’s backyard in the evening to check on her.

The Spy At My Window

Not that this is the first time he’s knocked on her window to get her attention – as she points out when she first comes outside to join him.

“You’re getting awful good at knocking on my kitchen window.”  I love his little smile of acknowledgement and his answering “Yeah.”

Night Call

Throughout this whole scene there is a charming awareness and awkwardness between them, moments when they look away from the other shyly, as if not quite knowing how to proceed.

tongue-tied

“So what are you doing in my garden at seven thirty at night?”  Amanda asks after one such pause.

Lee tells her that he’s come over to check she’s ok.  He could have easily phoned her to do this, but as it is he probably didn’t think twice about heading his car in the direction of Maplewood Drive.  She’s definitely pretty touched that he would even bother to check up on her.  It shows he cares about her, even if he wouldn’t tell her so.  There is a little pause before Lee looks at her, smiling thoughtfully, his thoughts turning to the case that’s just concluded.

Youre Going to Miss Her aren't you

Remembering Victoria

Amanda shrugs and smiles wistfully,  confessing that she probably will miss being Victoria a little bit.  Again they fall silent, each one looking away and rather shy with the other. For Amanda, despite the danger she ended up in at the hand’s of Hollander, the chance to be Victoria undoubtedly allowed her to take a step away from being the housewife and mother she has for so long been and enter a world a million miles from her own.  It’s probably not something she will forget in a hurry.  As for Lee, it was definitely a case that shifted the way he feels about her.  He certainly experienced some twinges of jealousy at seeing her not only in Delano’s company but also seeming to enjoy it too.

Awakening

Amanda is the first to break the silence that has ensured between them, although Lee really isn’t expecting her to ask him whether he said something nice to her in the ambulance.

Looking for Answers

“Like what?” He did, of course, say something nice but he’s certainly not ready to admit it.  In fact, he rather let his guard down in the ambulance thinking that she was unconscious and couldn’t hear him.  To own up to it would lead him into territory he’s not even ready to admit in his own mind – that he cares about her rather more than he might have realised.

A Moment of Panic

Amanda doesn’t pursue it further at seeing his rather wary and guarded look, but instead lets him off the hook by telling him that it was probably the sedatives playing tricks on her mind, which Lee, thrown this lifeline, more than willingly accepts and agrees with.

Again they fall silent, lost in their own thoughts, until Amanda makes a move to go inside the house again and although Lee seems a little reluctant to leave her he accepts his fate. Just when you think that they aren’t going to say anything else to each other, Amanda calls out to Lee, causing him to turn around.  She’s not quite finished questioning him. “How did you get me out of there?”

He doesn’t even hedge this time, but rather tells her the truth.

I Carried You

With a final smile to her he’s gone, leaving Amanda with the biggest smile on her face and repeating his words to herself as though she can’t quite believe it.

He carried me

You are left with the feeling that this particular case has definitely brought them a little closer than they were at its beginning.

Favourite Near Miss Kiss Scene

I was going through some old files on my computer and I found some notes I made a couple of years ago concerning my favourite moments which I wrote for the SMK Yuku Board (they have recently revived the thread) and I thought that I would dust them off, redo the graphics where necessary and post them here in this little space.  When I repost my relationship notes for Lee and Amanda there will doubtlessly be some overlap, but hopefully not too much.

Anyway, to start.  I have decided to kick off with the near miss kiss from Utopia Now.  It is, hands down, my favourite of them all, not only because they did get oh-so-close but also for the prelude to it – the conversation between them.

The fact that they have been running from Sacker and his men has led them to taking sanctuary in a swamp for the night.  Even though Amanda has come through with her “one match” and made sure they have some semblance of a fire to try and keep warm by, it really is too low for them to gain much heat from.  It is cold and dark and Amanda, for one, is feeling the chill.

Where Shadows Linger

It doesn’t take long for Lee to realise this (even though she doesn’t try to hide how she’s feeling) and he very nobly invites her to huddle against him, telling her that their body heat can help them both keep warm.  The ease into which Amanda moves into the circle of his arms, snuggling against his chest, and the naturalness with which Lee accepts her closeness and literally embraces it shows how comfortable they have now become with the other, especially when at this point their very solid friendship is very tentatively blossoming into something deeper.

JustTwoPeople2 copy

Protect You

It is not the ideal situation – after all, a swamp in the bitter cold with a gang of undesirables trying to track you down is hardly the most romantic scenario and yet as they huddle together the world seems to slowly narrow down to just the two of them.  It starts with Amanda’s admittance that she’s scared – something that Lee understands but tries to placate as best he can, although not without some sense of guilt in having put her into the situation in the first place.  Not that Amanda’s having any of it – she, after all, knew what she was getting into at the train station that day.  She certainly won’t allow Lee to feel guilty about it, although her mind is on more pressing matters – like the fact that they may not actually make it out of there alive.  And if they don’t….

Really am glad to have known you

She may have backed off from telling Lee how she feels about him at the last moment, perhaps fearing that he isn’t ready to hear it or that she will end up on the receiving end of “the speech” again (which she does later), but her own admission, though not what she really wanted to say, sparks off one from Lee as he tells her how much she has influenced the way he not only views other people but also himself.  It is quite an admittance for him, showing that he is slowly beginning to let his defences down and let her even further in.  It also creates that sense of the two of them being completely content with each other in that moment, despite the reasons they are there.  So when Lee gets a cramp (did he fake it?) and finds himself face to face with Amanda, the air between them becomes pretty charged pretty quickly.

The Sweetest Agony

Their eyes meet and hold, Lee begins to tighten his arm around her and slowly they move towards the other ready to kiss….

Surreder copy

Only they don’t get the chance to do more than barely touch the other’s lips as Sacker and his men suddenly intrude upon the moment, shattering it completely in a hail of gunfire aimed roughly in their direction, forcing them to dive for cover behind some rocks.

A Moment Shattered

Discovered

As Danger Nears

The moment is well and truly lost, the priority of just trying to keep out of sight and alive back to being their main focus.